When Life is...Scary

Sometimes we are merely existing, and it feels like the world is caving in. Life can feel insanely frustrating and overwhelming all at the same time. When we feel like the world is closing in, our fight/flight/freeze/fawn/flop mechanisms kick into high gear. We all deal with fear and frustration differently. Most of the time we either fight or we experience flight, but the ones talked about the least is freeze, fawn, flop.

Fight: facing the challenge head on rather aggressively.

Flight: running away from the threat to get to a place of safety.

Freeze: the threat is there, but a mental and physical paralysis takeover.

Fawn: people pleasing so that the conflict will be extinguished.

Flop: physically collapsing or fainting, becoming unresponsive.

The 5 F's are trauma responses that we have learned help us survive. Some will only use one consistently, and others will use different ones depending on the person or circumstance that they encounter. These responses can be helpful at times for the short term; however, for the long term, these responses can have a negative impact. Learning how to have assertive conversations can help ease a trauma response. Disclaimer, it doesn't mean that once you have assertive conversations that the trauma responses cease to exist, but it does mean that having those conversations lessens the likelihood for a trauma response.

Trauma work is a slow and sometimes painful process to work through; but once we start consistently working through the traumas it allows us to see how far we have come. For all of the hurt and disaster that trauma often leaves us with, there is a silver lining, we become resilient and more confident in ourselves. The silver lining is usually only seen once we begin working through our traumas with therapy and support. Even when we are in the depths of trauma or trauma work, the light will shine through, even if it's only a sliver at first. I leave you with this: It does get better, sometimes it gets way worse before it gets better, but it does get better.